The mind is essential but invisible. If we wish to work with the mind, we need an image to organize our experiences, to figure out what to focus on. Here’s a good one: What if the mind is a body? A body made of thoughts, habits, intentions, and feelings the way the physical body is made of muscles, bones, nerves, and organs.
The mind certainly moves. It can do simple movements, like the attention hopping from face to face, or complex movements, such as going from anger to reflection. It can move in a purposeful and skillful way, such as when a person navigates through a difficult conversation, designs a house, or replaces a bad habit with a good one. At other times it can be clumsy, making an argument out of a simple conversation, or struggling to make a trivial decision.
This is not unlike the physical body sailing a boat, dancing, or carving a statue. When the body fails to perform, it is either:
- Not coordinated & practiced in that specific skill, or
- Lacking in basic abilities.
By basic abilities I mean things like awareness, balance, strength, dexterity, flexibility, stamina, etc.
Ask yourself: What are the basic abilities common to all the mind’s skills? What does it mean for a mind to be sensitive, balanced, flexible, or strong?
We all have some expectations for our physical body’s basic abilities, even if they seem obvious, like being strong enough to stand up. What do you expect from your own mind? Here are some simple strength & mobility tests for your mind:
- Can you sit down, become aware of your body, and keep your awareness within your body while feeling comfortable, relaxed, and generally enjoying yourself for 10 minutes?
- This is the equivalent of being able to stand up straight and stay still without pain, tiredness, slumping, or falling.
- Can you consider an emotionally charged topic for 5 minutes while staying with the relevant question, not sliding off into fantasies, arguments, and loops?
- This is the equivalent of being able to carry your groceries without falling over.
- If you have an unpleasant experience, can you experience it just once and move on, or do variations replay in your head over and over again like echoes after a blast, whether you like it or not?
- This is like being able to flex a muscle and then relax, without getting cramps and strains.
- Can you experience an unpleasant emotion such as sadness in body-mind-heart, in front of someone you trust, without suppressing or being consumed by the feeling?
- This is like doing something delicate with your hands.
- Can you intentionally decide to feel happy for 2 minutes, and then experience even a minimal amount of happiness internally as a result?
- This is like being able to walk toward somewhere you want to go.
Like the physical tests, you often believe you can do them, until you try. Unlike the physical tests, there is no mirror or trainer to keep you honest. If we pay close attention while we do these tests, many of us will find some surprisingly basic weaknesses in our minds.
The Consequences #
When a basic ability is lacking, and we attempt to perform some skill, there are two results: we fail or we compensate. So in life we often fail to behave the way we want to, or fail to achieve a change that we need. In failing, we often hurt ourselves, constantly generating new pains. Or if we succeed, we do so by compensating for the weakness. Compensating means we struggle, always risking injury. It means there’s no guarantee we’ll succeed next time. As a result, lacking confidence in our abilities, we often end up avoiding things we should do, or conversations we should have.
For example, say we lack balance. Instead of the mind remaining in the posture we choose, it slides off unpredictably. We wake up later, noticing the mind doing something completely different from our intention. Lacking this balance, how can we trust ourselves to stay good? During a conversation, if someone pushes us, will we end up saying something we regret later? We might compensate on certain occasions by suppressing ourselves. But that creates stress & tension, and there’s no guarantee next time. What about when we really need to have an honest, challenging conversation and we don’t have a chance to rehearse?
This situation is no surprise. As living in chairs all day has screwed up our physical bodies, something similar has happened with our minds. In general, our abilities are lacking for two reasons: we have bad habits which weaken and injure, and we avoid doing things which would strengthen and heal.
Weakening Ourselves #
We live in a world where it’s quite easy to mess with the mind. Take the social media feed as an example: an endless succession of objects specially designed to stimulate the mind to react. The mind becomes all hands - grabbing at this and pushing away that. It produces tense, inflamed extremities and a weak core. After a long bout of such activity, the mind is scattered, and we have to gather it together again if we want to make any use of it.
Another muscle we overuse is the narrative one, which takes events and feelings and binds them into stories which we compulsively rehearse. This muscle is so constantly flexed by our culture that it is rarely capable of relaxing. When it is overactive, it manufactures unhelpful stories. When it stays tense, we are unable to let go of these stories. Eventually, we find ourselves stuck in a web of painful and limiting narratives about ourselves and others.
Strengthening Ourselves #
On the other hand, we avoid doing things that would strengthen us, because they are uncomfortable, and because we are confronted by our own unfortunate condition. Here’s an example: In our overstimulated world, just resting is a strength exercise.
Try it: Relax without doing or thinking anything, and then when mental activity comes up, disengage from it so that you can continue to relax. Do you avoid doing this?
Remember, no matter how atrophied, the physical body is always capable of change. A body that is clumsy and weak can become coordinated and strong. A tight and painful body can become relaxed and comfortable. It takes effort and persistence, but people do it.
The mind can change the same way. A mind that is weak and unstable can become strong and unified. A mind that is tight and painful can become relaxed and happy. It doesn’t make for great before/after pics, but it makes life a lot more enjoyable.
How do we develop something that is weakened?
- We identify which basic skills and strengths need work.
- We stop the bad habits that make them worse.
- We intentionally train them through exercises and play suited to the level of our current capacity.
This is both how people recover from injury, and how athletes take their complex skills to the next level. Even a small change aimed at a fundamental weakness can make a big difference, but if you decide to consistently pursue the development of the mind, it can lead you to wonderful places.
Imagine for yourself a mind like a well-trained body. Comfortable in stillness, confident in motion. Moving with ever-increasing skill. A reliable ally. What might be the rewards of such a mind?